New Wife, New Life

So, I was writing on Facebook yesterday, thinking about whether I should explain my year-long absence from this here bloggity blog, or just plod forward, leaving you all (anyone?  Bueller?) to catch up as you could along the way. I decided to do the latter, but I think I might be changin’ me mind, at least a little bit. You see, dear reader, the year that has just passed has been the most awe-inspiring of my life.  Many wondrous things have happened that have altered the course of everything, for the best.  I don’t feel as though I can just walk past those things here and not mention them at all, so here’s an explanatory post for ye.

+><+:+:+   Cue tinkly jingle jangle dream sequence music  :+_+:{:”>:”

FLASHBACK!  When I last posted to the blog, we were seeing some Christmasy sights around our house in the year 2010.  I wasn’t saying much more at the time, because I didn’t want to jinx anything, but now, apparently I’m all about tempting the fates.  Just kidding, fates!  I love you guys, for realz.

FLASHFURTHERBACK!  Right before that post, I went to a wedding with my good friend Danny.  Danny and I had attended another wedding together, as friends, so that was no big thing.  This all went down the first weekend of November.  But wait!

FLASHEVENFURTHERBACK!  (Isn’t this fun?) I first met Danny at church circa 2005.  Danny was a student at Towson, studying music education.  He was hired to sing as one of the soloists in the choir that I sing with.  Danny was… a goofball (spoiler: he still is.).  He looked a lot like this at that time:

I’d apologize for the small size of this photo, but I think it’s actually a blessing.  So, we have established a few things:

1. Danny and I worked together at church (and still do).

2. Danny had very interesting hair.

3. Danny was a college student in 2005 (this part becomes more important later*).

We became good friends over the years.  Our choir soloists used to always head out for drinks after Thursday night rehearsals, which was really fantastic for this single mom who didn’t get a lot of social time.  Danny was (and is) the guy who is always holding the door open, getting the drinks from the bar, listening to you yammer on about the latest jerk you had the misfortune of ending up on a date with, picking up the tab, and driving you home even though you live only three blocks from the bar.  He’s just good people.

He also was very flirtatious with me, in a sort of sweet way. *For years, I wrote him off as way too young to be seriously interested in me (see college student in 2005, and do some mental math).  What a mistake THAT was, my friends.

Back to the wedding in November 2010.  We go to the wedding, the wedding is lovely, Danny asks the DJ to play Journey’s Faithfully for me, I had lots of wine.  Danny took this amazingly unflattering, jaundiced photo of me:

Everyone there is pulling me aside to ask if I’m Danny’s girlfriend.  After the eleventy billionth time of explaining that no, we’re just friends who look like we’re together, seem like we should be, but we’re not… I started to think that my explanation wasn’t making as much sense as it had before.  That, in actuality, it wasn’t making any sense at all. We drove home from that wedding and had a nice long talk about things.  There was a shooting star, right across Orion, which if you know me, you know there’s no way I could ignore a sign as clear as that.  We decided to start dating, BUT!  I wasn’t going to let him get some sort of free pass, just because we’d been friends for so long. I told him he’d have to court me, properly.  Not in a colonial way, on wagons, but he was going to need to work to impress me (in hindsight, though, wagons would have proven quite impressive, indeed).

The Tuesday following, Danny called me as I was leaving a meeting at church to find out when I would be home.  He was waiting for me when I got there, with a large paper bag and two soy lattes.  Once inside, he explained that there was going to be a hot (lattes) and cold theme to this, our surprise first date, and pulled from the bag with a flourish a pint of Hagen Daas.  My heart sank.  I haven’t eaten dairy in years, and he was being so cute, I didn’t want to burst his bubble.  It must have shown on my face, so he stuck his hand back in the bag and back out again, grasping the greatest dessert known to man, a pint of Blackberry Cabernet Sorbet from Ciao Bella.  Friends, this is my absolute favorite thing.  I mean, I love it with a firey passion.

The date was going very well.

Our second (or maybe third) date was Thanksgiving at my brother Jason’s house.  My family is HUGE and REDONKS, so I was a little nervous for Danny.  He’s never a wallflower, but meeting 35 or so immediate family members of a girl you’ve gone on two dates with has got to be daunting for any man.  Here’s how he fit in:

That’s my sister Laurie, Danny, and a bunch of my nieces.  It was the party table.  Needless to say, he fit in just fine, and set a new record for learning everyone’s name on the first try.  He’s got a gift for that.

FLASHONLYSLIGHTLYFORWARD!  (You thought I was finished with that, didn’t you?) Christmas Day, 2010.  Roughly one month has passed since our first date.  Now, Danny has known my kids since they were little (see: mental math, 2005, above), and he’s an elementary school music teacher, but he had never been alone with them for any extended period of time.  My dear friend MA was in labor, and I was her doula.  Christmas morning, the kids were up at 7, opening presents.  By 7:30, I was out the door on my way to the laboring mama, and Danny was left alone with the kids for the first time ever, ON CHRISTMAS DAY.  This little angel man:

…was born that evening.  Danny had to give my kids a happy Christmas day, then deliver them to their dad, all while I was away.  Looking back on it, he could have turned and ran after that. He could have said, you know what, this just isn’t what I’m looking for, so thanks for the fun times, but I’m out.

After all, we’d only been dating for one month.

Instead, he stayed.  He stayed because he wanted all of me- he wanted me, the kids, the responsibility, the weight that is us.  He needed us, and we sure as hell needed him.

He asked me to marry him in February.

I did so in June.

I have never been so happy, and I have this man to thank for it.  Every single thing in my life is now in clear focus, because we are an unstoppable team.

I love you so much, babe.  You’ve made me me again.


11 Responses to “New Wife, New Life”

  1. I knew the story and you got me all choked up! Miss you guys!!

  2. Thank you, Erin! I miss you, too!

  3. YAY! Yay yay yay this makes me squee and tear up all at the same time. Thank you for sharing the background, and the lovely story. ❤

  4. Thank you, Chris!! 😉

  5. Ask I sit here, in tears, I am filled with an overwhelming feeling of happiness. The profundity (you don’t use THAT word everyday) of your statement of Danny making you YOU again, is blowing my mind right now.

    You guys *are* unstoppable and I am honored to witness this!

    Also, let it be known that I was slamming my fists on the desk because I was laughing so hard at all thoughts involving courtship with wagons! BWAHAH!

    Love you both.

  6. And now, I’m crying. Thank you, Jules. We love you, too.

  7. Aw, so happy for you doll! You so deserve this! A thousand kisses from across the sea! xxx

  8. Thank you, love!

  9. Yay! Great story! Thanks for sharing! I’m so happy for you!

  10. I have that elegant frozen treat in the freezer right this minute! Truth be told, I got it for the (beloved) vegans in my life, but good to know we could please you instantly. Walking around your neighborhood at Christmastime was trippy and very very fun. Thank you for a warm wonderful meal and fine entertainment. Most important thought: we LOVE Danny and now we love an entire sweet family. Barbara is blessed. So are we.

  11. Thank you, Billie! We love you, too! Hopefully we’ll get to see you and James very soon.

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